I told you I was sorry and all I got was "it's not your fault"

I almost had you
almost once
almost more than most
i let you do things
she never would
is that why?
I'm already fucked up?
might as well.
I've been used
but this hurts more
because you were so good to me
because I wanted you
but when i looked at you
your eyes were gone. to a far away land
And you were only your hands.
my god, i was stupid.
I thought i believed you
and even now, i'm thinking of you
i just might forgive you
you're not even sorry
and all that i got
was an almost apology
from you:
"ya totaly we're just friends is all i want thankkkks its just kinda weird and i dont think it was right
but we can still be cool"

This always happens.