Day 1.
I need a change. I need to get my life back on track wherever the hell that is.
I need something...I think I need God.
I thought I had God. I guess I didn't. I guess I don't? What the hell am I supposed to do now? So I've spent my summer telling kids how they can know God, and I didn't even know what I was talking about. Am I going to hell for that stunt? So, stop wondering. You're going to wonder for days, how you made it through your life alive up till now. You already know it sucked. Your life sucks, and it's your fault. Asshole. You're a liar, you're a total sham. You're no better than the rest of them. Oh....Holy crap. The rest of them. The rest of the people who claim to be Christians. The perpetually happy ones, the canned ones,the drunk ones, the shallow ones. You. Are the fake one.
Oh...jeez. God......?......what now? I guess I'm sorry. I don't know how much that's gonna help. I know you probably hate me so I can't do much can I? Besides I'm kind of busy now, so maybe later...we can talk? Or maybe I should just stop pretending I can ever be a Christian, because I'm never going to grow, and I'm never going to stop failing you. Whichever seems easier, I guess. I don't pray much anymore anyway. So...See ya.
I need something...I think I need God.
I thought I had God. I guess I didn't. I guess I don't? What the hell am I supposed to do now? So I've spent my summer telling kids how they can know God, and I didn't even know what I was talking about. Am I going to hell for that stunt? So, stop wondering. You're going to wonder for days, how you made it through your life alive up till now. You already know it sucked. Your life sucks, and it's your fault. Asshole. You're a liar, you're a total sham. You're no better than the rest of them. Oh....Holy crap. The rest of them. The rest of the people who claim to be Christians. The perpetually happy ones, the canned ones,the drunk ones, the shallow ones. You. Are the fake one.
Oh...jeez. God......?......what now? I guess I'm sorry. I don't know how much that's gonna help. I know you probably hate me so I can't do much can I? Besides I'm kind of busy now, so maybe later...we can talk? Or maybe I should just stop pretending I can ever be a Christian, because I'm never going to grow, and I'm never going to stop failing you. Whichever seems easier, I guess. I don't pray much anymore anyway. So...See ya.
posted by To you with love at 7:59 PM
2 Comments:
i would say i know how you feel... but that would be a lie... i don't know EXACTLY how you feel... but i know what i know which is not to be said on here. i sound like dr. suess.
thanks. I've really got nothing to say anymore.
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